Hi, Kobiyashi, welcome to PsychCentral (PC).

I think I would have waited until I got back and tried to deal with situations after I was back and saw what was bothering me in my changed circumstances? For all you know, he could have taken down the pictures in the 3 months you haven't been there and he might think differently about you after your loss, etc., the relationship might change but now you have started a chain of actions with H/R in there too and it might be harder to deal with because you also have not been there to know what H/R has/has not done and how he is reacting, etc. So, in addition to the 3 month time away because of the death of your spouse, you now have to confront this wholly new situation that you can't know how it will play out. More stressful for you perhaps?

If, after you are back and settled, it is still a difficult situation, do you have a Plan B? Is your company big enough you can transfer to a boss who might be a better fit for you but where the job would be similar/as enjoyable?