Ya know- I see this was posted in 2006 but this has been on my mind lately seeing it is december and all.... the magic of the holidays seem to deem as I get older... Even "the good will towards men" theme gets dimmer as time goes on and how the economy, wars and all get worse...... I don't really watch the news, have not since well geez 2005, I still watch it from time to time, and which just confirms on why not to watch.. here recently an elderly man was beaten to death and robbed.. how is that good will towards men..... I don't know if that magic feeling of once I had very little of as a child, will ever return... I try to do simple things- IE black friday instead of going out this year (no cash to do so) I made my raindeer army of candy canes and put them up..... I also am making gifts again this year.. I am in hopes to get what little supplies I need to finish them before my court date which is a week before christmas.... idk...

Then I was talking to my boyfriend-- is the lie about santa is what brought part of the magic feeling to this time of the year as a child--- I am not sure... perhaps.

I wish that the ideal thought of good will towards men- would spread through out the year and ages, not just at a time of the season.....

Tis the season to be jolly-- I find it harder and harder.... I try still, and find little simple joy, but that is natural for me to do all times of the year- .... it is sad, I can't remember exactly as a child being so magical- perhaps it was just a thought I put in my head but reality was it was not... It is sad to question such a thing.