Tree - I get it. I really, really, do. Especially the wanting to call and be like "what's up everything ok?" I get frustrated because of the boundaries of the relationship and because sometimes it feels like T holds all the cards and I have no say. Just like emailing/not emailing back. Like you, I know if I email my T and ask if she is there or safe or whatever she will get back to me when she can, but the waiting or the silence is very triggering and it sends me to a "See, this is proof she really doesn't care" place. I haven't figured it out yet for myself, but wanted to say I get what you are saying. I really, really do.