I told my T I couldn't go forever without somebody liking me "first", and since my parents didn't do it, the job was his. I was too weird to get anybody from the outside to do it. I think that until you have that first EXTENDED experience of full acceptance (unconditional love or positive regard or whatever), you can't connect with someone else. I think we are not in the psychology books! We're quiet, we're smart, we're miserable - but the squeaky wheel gets the grease. I had to teach my T who I was and what I needed. It's kind of the Justice Clarence Brown effect? HE got help getting where he is, but he doesn't believe anybody else should have it? What is your T afraid of? What does it say about her that she denies you warmth? This is NOT the current trend in therapy. I'm not saying T is wrong for not embracing a trend, but my T says they are rethinking things - maybe your T needs to catch up? IDK. I wanted to add: my small naked feelings have pretty much dissipated. brought them to therapy, brought up topics, questions to T that elicited them, talked them out - he is so kind. Also, PC helps - sometimes they are your questions that magically turn into mine! We're getting there...