Last week after T, I backed my car out of the parking space and some guy was right up by my driver's side window, was gesturing for me to roll my window down. It took me a moment to realize that it wasn't a good thing to comply with his request, and I shouted "no" and sped off. I was fully prepared to run him over if I needed to. That kind of shocked me, though I was relieved when he stepped away.

And I'm a parent, too, and recall when my son was a toddler, imagining putting his head through the wall. Would his feet stick straight out, I wondered, or would they flop down?

Oh, and I sometimes totally blow up at my kid-- I'm not a screamer or even necessarily a yeller, but I'm a raise-your-voice-and-talk-all-stern-and-lecturey for far longer than is really necessary, repeating myself for emphasis.

And I was in T one day, when my T didn't give me the reaction I wanted, and I started scanning his office for sharp objects (surprisingly, not finding anything), sure I would plunge it between his eyes.

I also identify with beating the carp out of someone, and random surges of anger for things that don't necessarily justify the intensity of my response. They are fewer and far between these days, so maybe that means something.

We all know that feeling anger and acting on that feeling in irresponsible or dangerous ways are different things. Anger is a legitimate feeling when you don't get your needs met, or when someone mistreats you in some way. My task has always been to try to figure out how I can be accepting and open to feeling my anger, without acting on it in destructive ways.

Anne