(((Becca))) I really hope your day improves! I buy Scarlett's philosophy a little too often for my own good, but I'm something of a stoic when it comes to admitting that there's anything wrong...

Good luck on the call with the PhD program director! It's possible to do a PhD while bipolar symptoms are wrecking your life - it's tough, but I struggled through my first 4 years undiagnosed. Heck, I don't even know how anyone with kids manages it, but they do. Fortunately, after coursework is over you have a lot more freedom to work on your own terms, which is much more forgiving.

If you do apply and get admitted, you might have the option of a one-year deferral on starting the program. And people take leaves of absence for lots of reasons; academia is fairly tolerant of the different lengths of time it can take to finish a degree. So even if you need a "non-traditional" schedule, that's OK.

However, I would suggest giving some very serious thought to what would come after the degree. Most PhD students have no idea what's about to hit them, and the academic career is extremely demanding (though maybe a little milder at teaching schools instead of brutally competitive R1 schools.) You might see if you can borrow some books from the library that are specifically about navigating the academic career path, because that might be a good reality-check. There are also non-academic career options, but unless it's required for the job, a PhD is generally overkill. The more soul-searching you can do about why you want a research/teaching career, the better application you'll be able to write, and the more certainty you'll have about moving in that direction. It's not for the faint of heart, so make sure you know what you're getting into!