Thanks for sharing about your appointment. I am in a desperate search for a T, but no luck. I keep running into the ones who seem to only be in it for the money or have no real advice/help to give me.

If I were to write down all my negative thoughts, I could probably fill a few pages too. I also work where I have to fake smile and be courteous and have these fake conversations because I am TRULY NOT genuinely interested in what anybody has going on. So, I know it's not GOOD to fake it, but I you kind of have to at work, but in LIFE, no, I shouldn't have to and it is DAMN tiring having to be an actress all day getting janitor wages.

I'm sure I could use a change in the types of food I eat, I'm anemic and all, but I won't take medicine/vitamins/etc. on a regular basis unless it's like life threatening. I've always had a problem with that. I think it's because of how I feel about myself.

I'm not close with too many family members and if I haven't known them from a young age, if I happen to meet them, they are just an average joe to me. So, I have anxiety talking to them too. I have been to family reunions where I feel like my mom took me to a party where everyone knows everyone but me. The thing is, no one even tries to get to know me. Story of my life!

I have a problem with talking to people for no reason too. I read a quote from Simon Cowell that said "I don't do small talk, I've never understood it." I don't either, honestly. Like I don't care how your weekend was, if I didn't ask you, don't tell me. You know? and these people at work want to small talk ALLLLL DAYYYYY LOOOONG! About plants, their pets, their kids, their surgery, their dates, their EVERYTHING! So, when you get a job, get ready for that, lol! I found my job through a temp agency, so maybe try that, once you get into a job, you can start networking with people you get along with there.

I do want to go to kickboxing/self-defense class or dance aerobics, but I have no one to go with and I can't really afford a gym membership. So many things going on, I get myself overwhelmed. Right now, I just want a T that cares and the right meds.

I have gone off on another rant...probably excited because I'm actually relating with someone...doesn't happen often, lol!