Thanks for all the responses everyone. Crying is linked to shame, shame sucks, etc etc. Working on it, I suppose, but still wishing the tears weren't so intense!
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It sounds like you're finally really feeling the emotions that go with the "deeper stuff". At least, that's been my experience. I've been doing a ton of crying the last few months - well, year, actually. T calls it working through stuff. It's one thing to intellectually know things and discuss them. It's a whole different story when you actually *feel* the emotions. Sometimes I don't even know WHAT I'm crying about. That's why I see T. We need to feel the emotions, let them out, experience them, in order to heal.
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I think you have hit on something TheBunnyWithin - logically working through stuff is one thing, but it's the emotional part, the feelings, that are so new to me. And yes, I get frustrated that in the middle of a perfectly good day, I can burst into tears and not know why.
It's interesting you bring up meds amandalouise - I just saw my pdoc and my dr within the last two weeks, and we really did not and are not making any med adjustments since that always impacts my appetite. Dealing with an ED right now, we can't play with the appetite yet. T will be getting an earful next appointment, though, that's for sure.
I completely agree with the social stigma of tears CantExplain - Western society takes away the appropriateness of a lot of emotional/feeling things - such as friendly hugs, holding hands, etc.
Alwaysrejoice - yes, this is stuff I've not only ignored forever, but when I have talked about it, I've made it light and fluffy. Not this time...
I think, too, that this time of year triggers my depression even worse... and yes, my depression is pretty bad right now. It doesn't help that there are lot of things happening in my life that are constant reminders of things that I do not have or try to avoid. Add to that the cold weather in the mid-west and the lack of sun... guess I should just go invest in kleenex stock...