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Dec 07, 2011, 04:03 PM
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Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: usa
Posts: 3,642
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so today i decided to start my trauma work with my wonderful t, it was so very difficult i did not look at her much , i have turned my emotions inward i hold in my desire to cry and it hurts, 3 months ago i did not even cry at my father in laws funeral, i decided last year to hold all these feelings in, and they make me angry, t said i was safe with her and to just talk and if i cry i cry, she said she would stop the session so i can come back and unwind she said she would not let me out of the room all upset and crying, it felt very caring, but what must she think of me i am partially describing childhood trauma and not one tear just shame guilt embarrassment , will she think (damn this client is not crying what is wrong with her) it hurts holding all this in, and its not the meds because last year i was not on all these meds
i can feel anger and all of the other emotions except happiness and crying, several times i had to stop because i felt overwhelmed kinda couldnt breathe and she was so nice very empathic, like 15 minutes before the end of the session she told me to stop so that she could bring me back to present day, i think i will continue next week but i am worried she will think i am heartless i want to be able to release emotions and i dont know how
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