the guilt is coming from your father.
man are you a brave person (((hugs)))
when i was 16 i had to file charges against my oldest brother for beating the daylights out of me on a daily basis.
if it weren't for 2 teachers, school nurse, and school counselor the cop said if i don't file charges the next time he sees me will be in body bag.
i filed the charges being afraid, but it saved my life.