Well I found out today that my BFF enlisted in the Illinois National Guard, and will be leaving on Valentines day for 18 weeks. 9 weeks of boot camp in SC, and 9 weeks of AIT in VA. He is my lifeline, We chat on a daily basis, and he helps me stay sane too, by listening. I am so supportive of him, but I fail to let him know it bothers me, because I don't want to fill his head thinking he did something wrong. I love him like a brother, I would do anything for him; including give my life for him.

His little brother had been on Dialysis for about a year when I found out he needed a Kidney, Well i tested, and I was a match, so I started to prep for surgery when miraculously another kidney was found... This is how much I care for him, and his family. I'm devasted that I won't be in contact with him for 4 months. I dunno, maybe I've become obsessed with him I don't know. I'm just so sad. I'm crying just typing this. I'm no longer taking meds, and haven't spoken with my doctor or therapist in 5 months. Been ok until now and I feel like I'm getting sucked into the black hole of doom again.