Wow 10 years? If you haven't 'combined' your lives by now it doesn't seem as if it will happen. Kinda like a dead end. You need to sit back and really think about what you get and want from this relationship. If you're staying in it as to not hurt her, or due to habit, it's time to move on. I'm glad to see your kids come first in your life and I know it sucks when they're not around. But keep in mind that if you're feeling lonely you obviously need something more. Love will come but you need to be available to find it (or it to find you).