have a journal.
write the date and than write out your thoughts and emotions.
either keep what you wrote or throw it away.
keeping it your keeping track of how you were on a daily basis.
as for being a mom, i don't know what happen to you in your past, but you wanting to be healthy for your kids is a sign of a good mother. (((hugs)))
talking about your past to your t is bringing out emotions that were bruied deep down inside of you. this is normal to feel like a bus hit you.
the same thing happened to me when i started to confront my abuses, this is part of healing.
for me i reached for, lean on, and trust my faith.
thank you for sharing(((hugs)))