Thank you Perna. I think she knows i'm not in imminent danger but this was a final meeting and a report goes to my doc. I have a new T who is very good i will see her on Monday.

Roadrunner- I felt i had been manipulative, because she really wasn't feeling comfortable about omitting a certain piece of information that i don't want in a letter to my doctor. So i convinced her i am much better and at much less risk than she thinks. Why did i do that? Fear! I don't feel i'm in imminent danger of harming myself, are the thoughts there? Sometimes. Do i have a plan? No. I got scared that she viewed me to potentially be unable to keep myself safe, i was shocked that what i'd told her made her view me that way because it means i am sicker than i thought, if that makes sense? I can't recognise when i'm not safe, i've been brought up to downplay everything and there is a major shame to creating drama.