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i don't know if i'm replying in the right space, i hope so.
thank you very much for responding to my words and the encouragement. he knows, my boyfriend, yes. understands, no. he gets angry at me. but he tries, too. you are right about getting out, moving. it is helpful. thing is i've been on the go every second and only slept maybe a handful of times in the past week and half and it is like something fell out of the sky and crushed me. this is the first time i've stopped to lie down. and i didn't even mean to. i feel pinned to the floor. i feel frantic and shaded black. depression is a beast. making it a goal to sometime today bundle up and do the horses and barn and chores and then we'll see.