generalities annoy me no matter what they are. Sure, you may see the generalization that everyone needs marriage as silly and ridiculous but I see your generalization that nobody should get married the same way.

I think you should read the book The Unbearable Lightness of Being. It is essentially the tale of several people in marriages. They feel tied down and miserable being in this suffocating marriage. So they leave. However, the loneliness of being alone (a.k.a. your version of 'free') is often times worse than what we perceive as problems in a marriage.

The thought of marriage being this awful thing indicates a paralyzing fear of abandonment and actually an internal issue with yourself - not with the institution of marriage. What about people who stay together for a long time but never go through with marriage? They are in the same situation minus a piece of paper. Why is the act of marriage the end all be all of misery?

IMO, your view on relationships is entirely cynical and is not about personal growth and love. With a view like that, a midlife crisis doesn't matter because it sounds self-absorbed already. I agree. For you, marriage probably isn't plausible.