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MASIMO · Dec 08, 2011, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elliemay

Whoa here folks! I gotta say, I think the way you are feeling about your therapist is completely normal, healthy and a natural extension of being treated kindly, with respect and attention.

I see absolutely no reason for you to beat yourself up over it. I mean, if one is subject to abuse, the fact that you still crave and desire love - and can recognize at least the basics of what constitutes love - is a celebration of the human spirit and its innate, and indomitable willingness to connect. Yes, beautiful, this is how I feel. At least I still have the capacity to love and I have totally not lost myself.

I say, enjoy how *you* feel about your therapist. I soooo do, hmmmm.

The pain from this is going to come when you realize (and you will and it's okay) that your therapist, if he cares for you at all, will celebrate this feeling with you, but cannot return it the way you want. Yes, This is so true, I love the idea that he can celebrate "our" love even though it will never be what I wish it could be IRL.
It has nothing to do with you, it has nothing to do with whether you deserve his love or not, but rather it has everything to do with your *long term happiness*.

If you can allow yourself to feel love for your therapist, then I'm sure you can imagine how *amazing* it would feel if love *can* and *will* be reciprocated. I hope to find this love someday, I can only imagine what it would feel like. I look forward to it.

It's important to understand that your therapist's experience of therapy is entirely different from yours. You share, he doesn't. You experience intimacy with him, but he only, and rightly, participates in your intimacy. It does not flow in both directions. Well actually, my T shares a fair amount of intimacy about himself. I feel like I know the real man. Not just the personna I see in therapy. It is what makes him human in my eyes, not unprofessional.

I think it is very easy for people to say "OH NO, don't feel this, don't expect this, don't....." However, you feel the way you feel, and it's okay.

This therapeutic relationship has limits, but imagine what a relationship that *doesn't* have these limits would feel like!

Oh dont tempt me....I would like to experience it, just once!

This is my story and I'm sticking with it. I love my T. My T loves me.
We are involved in a Therapeutic relationship, but we are also involved in an emotionally intimate relationship. These feelings sometimes complicates and intensifies things for both of us. However, we are both committed to continuing it. I'm not going to try to define it as it is totally unique to any other relationship. I'm not going to peg it in a hole.
The way he looks at me , the warmth of his hugs, his commitment to me, his attempt to protect me, the way I respond to him, his presence, his energy. It is love. Let it be.