I had many dreams and goals but none of it came true.there was time I understood I can't do anything.I can't change anything.don't have that ability.that's why My aging is so trauvmatic.I know it is too stupid. but I don't have anything else.only my youth.If I got what I want(just partly if not completely) before It would be natural to grow up for me I think.don't know how to live then.