I felt like this at the start of therapy. Either I keep control or I lose control, and if I lose control, I lose everything. I spent the first two years fighting for control. I didn't win. T is a powerful woman.

But in the end, I found out that I could have a good relationship without being in control. T didn't abuse her power. She didn't use her power against me. I learned to trust someone more powerful than myself.

I still have control issues. We keep coming back to that. But I have hope.