being "nice" to yourself is not the same as being "good" to yourself. cream puffs are nice, oatmeal is good. if you didn't have good parents, then you might need to work on parenting yourself. read up, take a class. people don't often like it, but i still say: "the best parenting class i ever had was dog training." it's drilled into you that you must be reasonable, attentive, consistent and caring. there is good parenting in a nutshell. best wishes,, Gus