Have you tried talking with a counselor (therapist) about these things?

Being 22 and not having experienced the love of another isn't incredibly unusual. In my experience, without some form of self-love and acceptance, all relationships are incredibly difficult to start and maintain.

Personally, I've struggled with self-hate and refusal to accept for all of my life. As a result, I often fight major depression and suicidal ideation. I do see a T regularly as well as take a few meds to manage my misery easier. I have accepted that I need to do this for my daughters. My daughters are the light at the end of my dark and dreary tunnel. I don't want them to suffer, therefore, suicide isn't an option. That's what keeps me going.

Whether there's some loving being out there, I have no idea whatsoever. I'm agnostic. I wish that I could believe in some loving being and heaven ~ but I don't. I just try to do my best because that's the "right" thing to do, not because He guides me. But, that's just me. Different people have different opinions. And that's okay with me.

Go to the doc and get help with your depression. You probably need some meds and a T to talk with. That will help you gain a better sense of self. Focusing on what healthy things you can do to make yourself feel better is a real important part. Best wishes sent your way!