I'm PO'd at my brother! I was telling him i miss my bf, but didn't wanna suggest seeing eachother tonight, b/c i'm too scared to hear "i can't" Thing is, i KN0W my bf is uber busy,overworked,underpaid,studying,stressed out and a chronic insomniac. So he's really busy, or really tired. Plus, when he can go out he likes to go out clubbing with his cousins (which is SO not my scene anymore) i'll go once in a while when hypomania's got me good. ANYWAAY... The thing is, my brother made me feel bad, saying bf would see you if he really wanted to! (WTF) He doesn't even know him! And doesn't seem to fathom the nature of our relationship,yet proceeds to pass judgement. And he's not even an effing expert, he's got his 1st ever gf and they're not even a 'real' couple. (something bout her being scared of being vulnerable) argh that's not even the point! The point is, now i'm upset, and CRYING at work coz maybe my bf really doesn't care. What if our relationship is 1 of my delusions, seriously? A 10yr delusion?? What if i'm N0T important to him? I just wanna go home,but it's not even noon. Feel like i'm fighting a mini-meltdown.and it's driving me nuts. I want to tell my manager and co-workers "go eff yourselves" and just go home, and NEVER come back! But guess what? I CAN'T b/c it's my daughter's birthday in a few weeks and i need the money coz her 'father' never bothered learning the definition of the title so she's solely my financial responsibilty and i REFUSE for her to ever feel that BOTH her parents are useless! I feel so all over the place,guess i just want a hug and someone to give me some perspective... Wish i could stop tearing up,it's embarrassing...