It's just that every corner I turn there is something else going wrong- I an feel the custody of no1 daughter slipping away with every step I take. After smashing her bedroom window she stayed with her father last night (I was ok with that) and today she is with her respite carers. At some stage cps are going to take note that every time she does something wrong at home, or loses control of herself, she ends up staying away. They also base their decisions on no2's safety- a major issue at the moment. Too much. And we keep having public holidays so nothing can really be sorted out yet- everyone that matters has gone on leave. Arghhhhhh. Why do I keep babbling on and on?!?! I did have a really positive time with no1 yesterday- movie then mcdonalds then park- where she began misbehaving...But anyway, I need to feel the physical pain of my emotions, which I have buried so deep, and even when I SI I can't- I dissociate so easily... I'll quit now!!! Too much babble about nothing. You can use it as a distraction maybe?!?!- read irish's nonsensical post!!! lol