It is not you, but it is part of your life; it is your life story. You cannot just rip out or forget the bits you don't like?

Think of it like pieces of a puzzle (the puzzle being your entire life story) and you are trying the pieces several different ways and places to see where they fit. Trust me (I'm 61 so looking back on a larger life story with its own horrible-seeming bits and pieces) the colors and designs will work well together in the end.