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Old Apr 24, 2006, 06:40 PM
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(JD) (JD) is offline
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
is what some call "whining" encouraged in support groups both IRL and on line but what some see as healthy conflict resolution is not?

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Totally IMO, many support groups are led by incompetent people. Just because someone might have a degree doesn't mean they know how to effectively facilitate a group of people, especially disordered people! There is a gentle balance between allowing someone to "whine" and allowing someone to express how they are feeling without whining.

I took the "whining" you are referring to fuzzybear not in the literally sense of HEARING (children do whine quite easily that way, if allowed.) Adults are accused of whining (without hearing the voice) imo when they express something occurring that they haven't fully processed, , repeat the same type of responses over time without change. I think I would include those who always complain about others, and never address their part in a situation.

Conflict resolution, to me, is very different. IMO most people abhor doing this. IMO Most people, able bodied, functional, intelligent people don't understand many of the steps in conflict resolution. IMO one main ingredient is discussing the problem! Anytime "the problem" involves the actions of another, then they shy away from exposing that...considering it gossip or putting the person in a bad light...etc.

There is a difference between gossip and slander, and trying to figure out what problems a person might be having and how to best act accordingly. How could anyone expect to resolve a situation that, say, involves another's angry outbursts, if you didn't discuss the person's angry outbursts? (When, what was said, ideas as to why it happened etc.) Only then can a resolution be found.

Resolution, ah yes. This means you take into account all the details involved with the conflict. Sometimes there are factors that do not change. (i.e. I have PTSD..no amount of "discussion" will change this.) To be able to discuss my short comings, my symptomology would be a good thing, not derogative... we all have limitations.

IMO Groups work best, like teams, when everyone has a good understanding of everyone else's shortcomings. Others step up with their strengths when another is weak, no offenses.

THERAPY groups have an added element because it is BECAUSE interactions are poor that one finds themself in a therapy group, imo. No one likes a "whiner." The only ppl, imo, that can bear with a group whiner is someone who is busy in their own mind preparing their own whine! IMO most groups don't have the patience nor the time required for whiners.

I've rambled enough. Can you tell I really never liked group therapy...wouldn't facilitate it, won't go either.

Now, ((((Fuzzybear)))) to answer your post subject question: YES!
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