Just want to tell someone, tell you guys, I suspect I have depression and not just depression but that I think I have the dysthemia type - the one that runs like an undercurrent, on a mild level - throughout my life. I function quite well on the outside world but it's a struggle you know? And I just can't find what happened to my interests, or joy. I cry easily. Yet I keep on keeping on. I have such a disconnect from the real world sometimes. I am slow to act, and slow to connect my feelings or thoughts with my words. I space out quite easily, and as much as I know I don't want to be alone I have a strong sense of independence & a need to be alone, and find it very difficult to let people in to my heart. Very difficult to trust anyone. I don't know if I really love, I'm so closed off, sometimes. Then there's the anxiety that goes with it all. Oh, just another day in the office!! Ha!

I've never thought to take drugs to help, but now I'm seriously considering it. Anyone been in the same boat & started medication (even if temporarily)? How did it go for you? I'm stubborn you know, and I never liked the idea of taking medicatoin (I don't like taking anything artificial in general) but now I'm wondering if it could really help me -- even if for the short term while I adjust to being in a new country? Are they addictive?