skysblue, have you heard of imagery rescripting? It's a technique used in schema therapy. I was always rather skeptical of it but have just done it for two sessions and was blown away.

In imagery rescripting, you tell the story. But at the crucial point, you intervene and make the ending the way it should have been. You can use anyone and anything (real, imagined, magic) to make the story right.

It sounds like pretending, right? But it has sound neuroscience behind it, because actually the brain can't tell the difference between when we use imagery for what happened, or what we wish had happened. Of course, we hold onto the reality of what really happened, and must still grieve for that, but for me something is shifting for the first time. Like the person I was then was finally given the help that I needed in the moment that I needed it.

Knowing you, you will want to read extensively about this A really good explanatory paper is Holmes, Arntz and Smucker (2007) in the Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry. If you don't have journal access, I'm happy to send it if you PM me your email