Quote:
Originally Posted by Claritytoo
There is a part of me that is rage full he has always been there when I needed him. I talk to him, he don't talk. He just steps in. I have been trying to work with my therapist. Most of the time when an alter presents they are angry or rage full. I want to move forward and prehaps work with with emdr but I am afraid I will be consumed by my rage. It feels like I am always just a moment from exploding when I am in session. I am concerned that I could be aggressive toward my therapist. I have expressed this to her. And a few times I have had to stop talking so my anger did not turn to rage. I don't trust that I can be experiencing feelings of rage and not direct this to who ever is in the room. Is this fear common? I have already told my therapist my rage does not want to be touched. That is a definite trigger to become aggressive. There is a part of me that tells me I will be fine but collectively I don't believe it. I have thought about hypnosis or something that will allow my rage out without giving up full control. Has anyone had a similar experience? In this I feel alone.
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I had a few violent alters and times when I was afraid I would lose control even though I was fully aware. my therapist and I talked about my fears of losing control and becoming violent during therapy. we made plans so that I was safe. for example she made sure our sessions were held in the agencies children's room. this room had these large mats hanging on the walls, throw pillows, bean bags, nerf balls.. soft things that would not break. now that she's in private practice we dont have that safe room but we manage with pushing the hard furniture aside and using the cushions. she also makes sure one of the people in the office next door is in during my sessions in case we need emergency help. we also had / have a contract (signed agreement that was signed by all within (before I was integrated) stating if any of us felt like we were going to explode we had to give our therapist time to locate a safe place in her office or in the agency building for us to do it in and safe items for us to do it with. the contract is now only signed by one since we are all integrated and I still give her notice when Im ready to explode so that she can do what she needs to do to keep both her and I safe and allow me to explode at the same time.