Thanks for that Misabelle. Yes, I am inclined to crazy/OCDish habits, but can't seem to get a routine going... sleeping 4 hours one day and 12 hours the next. But yes, I've been trying to market myself differently and also considered starting up a company. But really, to feel secure and confident again, I need a stable job with a decent salary... everything will come after. It's kind of bad that I sign up to networking events then not show up, cause I don't feel 'in the groove' of meeting people and talking smooth. Also, my flatmates (friends) have quite a toxic lifestyle - get drunk and do extremely stupid things far too often. This has been putting me off. Nevertheless, the rebuilding is still in operation, and I hope to be out of this loop soon. Thanks for your posts guys, you make me feel much better