I know practically nothing about you except for what's in your post & that you write well. After reading of your day at the prison, the evening after, & the next day's T appt, I wasn't feeling so great myself ...

The snapshot picture of your life shows a life I can't imagine very many (read anyone) wanting. I don't know why you're in therapy--PTSD from your profile. It seems you have no support system: absent family, unprobing T. Or do you shut them out? I have a supply of walls & masks, all portable.

Sorry if I'm seeming slick or smart-assed. I just know there's a lot more here. With your job, you must have a double-strength support system just for that! If you bring into your job a past that's left you with PTSD, you need additional support for that.

I was so happy to see that you're aware of the good you do your clients. That's wonderful & so important. But what I didn't see was your taking as much care of you as you try to take of them.

I think a lot of us don't get as much as we could from therapy because until we can care for ourselves, it's difficult to let another care for us. It's a circular thing: chicken or egg?

Please, before going to your next T appt, think about how much you deserve having someone to help you carry the load. Just as you work for your clients, let your T do his thing for you.

You need it. You deserve it.

Roadrunner