Well, it was nice to feel good for a couple of days. I'm still pretty functional. For now. But it's that sinking "worse by the minute" feeling all over again. I felt OK this morning, then irritable, and now I'm trying not to cry. My work productivity is strongly related to mood and is already slowing down sharply, which just makes me more anxious and upset.

I don't usually have such fast, sharp mood swings. Especially without (more dramatic) sleep disturbance. It's a little alarming. I'm pretty sure it's mostly related to getting my meds balanced out right; it's been a lot of changes in the last couple months, and every change is like a boot to the head. In 20 years, I've never had med changes affect me this much!

But I don't go back to the pdoc for med adjustment until the 20th. At this point, I don't know if that's good or bad. I just don't know what to expect at all. Some small masochistic part of me loves this rollercoaster, but the rest is getting worried about derailing.

In the meantime, I planned a dinner party for tomorrow night while I was feeling hypomanic earlier this week. So. Way to paint myself into the corner, yet again. I swear, I do this every time, and yet I never see it coming.