...hate your life and feel like there is nothing good in your world, or feel confused by your depressed feelings because everything else seems to be going great?

I went to a meeting of a mental health org on campus (which was a phenomenal experience; I've never felt so understood and supported by real-life people) the other night, and one girl mentioned that when she gets depressed, the thing she hates most is that there is no reason for it. To her, it seems like everything in her life is wonderful, except for her depression. Today I saw a YouTube video made by a young woman w/ bp; she described her depressions in essentially the same way.

I don't have the "everything in my life is sunshine except for my depressive storm cloud" experience. Keep in mind that from an objective standpoint, my life is pretty good. I come from a modestly wealthy family and am attending a good university. I do not have any serious health concerns (unless you count bp), I have people that love me.

But when I'm depressed, all of that is just invisible to me. It doesn't matter that I am at a good university, because I don't have what it takes to do anything with any degree I might earn. As for serious health concerns, who knows? I probably have undiagnosed cancer. Good. Maybe it'll kill me. And yeah, people love me. But they don't understand me. And most people neither love nor understand me...I'm so lonely, but I deserve it. I'm not worthy of having friends. I'll never have friends...and on and on...When I take PC's depression quiz while seriously depressed, I always pause at the item, "I feel depressed even when good things happen to me." My response is "what good things?!".

I'm not proud that I get that way. Like I said, objectively my life is good. That just is part of how my depressions manifest themselves; hopefully I'll learn ways to correct that faulty thinking in therapy.

But I really meant this to be more of a survey question. Answer honestly: which type of depressive are you? Can you see the sun shining through, or do you feel like you'll drown in the storm? Does it vary by episode? Has it changed with age? Thanks for any replies.