I get the physical symptoms of depression. Always tired, lack of motivation, and sometimes it will get to the point where I wish I can SI and I'll become fixated that I cannot hurt myself because I've gotten to the point where I know if I do I affect everyone around me. When I start to feel like that my stomach will hurt. If it gets really bad my self confidence goes down and I start believing something is going to get me. It almost always feels like something external. I also hate this because it comes out of no where. Or it progressively gets that bad after a week or two but there is no cause for it.

Sometimes I imagine myself doing stupid stuff, but it's only ever gotten really destructive once and that was before I got diagnosed. It is weird but I don't internalize as much. I always try to find a physical or external cause, or my body feels ill. ((Like: the negative voices tell me I am worthless...not too much "I am worthless)) BUT I also get the other side of depression where I feel like the world is better without me and I should be dead.

I guess it varies for me.