Thanks for the responses so far . I was amazed at how easy it was to quit smoking this time. This last February I was diagnosed with another blood clot(s) in my lungs. I discovered this time that to get to my lungs, the clots have to go through my heart first. I can even tell you when that happened. I had the most excruciating pain in my chest (I knew something was wrong), and the next day I went into the hospital to discover the clot. Which could have killed me...both times. I got the hint...smoking helped to create those clots, so I was scared into quitting. I still get urges, don't get me wrong, but coming close to death like that made it a much easier task.

It's weird...I dream that I'm smoking still and wake up scared that I've smoked and ruined everything. I've been smoke free since February. I'm amazed I did it, and it's one thing in my life that I'm actually proud of.

Another good piece of news, my pdoc upped my anxiety med so I can taper off the other one since it could be the culprit of my coughing/wheezing. Not everything is horrible, and I know I should be thankful for what I have (blah blah), but all of the bad things keep jumping in front of me. *sigh* I feel pathetic, useless, drained (lack of sleep). I hear my bed calling me.