Trusting, Honesty, and Acceptance...
My sponsor and I started with the serenity prayer. I started with the list of things I wanted no one to find out ie..Secrets, and my sex inventory. He wasn't moved. He was taking notes as I was sharing what I've written in the 4th step. I moved on to my Relationships, fears, guilt/shame, and resentments etc. As I continued he would stop me and HELP me to see the "EXACT NATURE" of the acts I was bringing to the light. This was Honesty on a new level than that of the steps previous. I was Trusting this person with my true self and he ACCEPTED me. I looked into his eyes from time to time and seen his compassion and understanding. I wasn't fearful as I thought I would be. I was ADMITTING to God and MYSELF as well. Im not in hiding anymore..No more secrets..I can Trust again..I seen the understanding and Compassion in Anothers face...Acceptance....As I was sharing he was helping me see what was behind the acts....The exact nature of it...Now I see...Awareness...God was there Too...Im not sure what I feel now. Now I've been seeing some patterns in my list inventory. The same Basic instincts distorted to an extreme level....DEFECTS OF CHARACTER...Am I Ready and Willing to have God remove them ???....I'm at step #6 now.....Easy does it...But let me do it..I'm not in a race but a process...Thanks, Neurontin