Hello Happydaisy,

I'm sorry that you had to endure that madness during your early years. I wish kids would be more of a priority in America but they seem to low on the list of priorities in the past and currently. It seems that the State should have gotten involved, but I guess that didn't happen.

I would imagine that now that you are an adult you are having trouble giving people trust. I understand how that feels. Sometimes I've felt very alone, but was unable to reach out for help because I was distrustful of others. Also, sometimes people react poorly if I do reach out for help, they think I need to let it go and move on with my life and stop complaining like a child. That does not help me.

I've learned that I can usually trust therapists and doctors. I've learned to trust clergy and religious authorities sometimes. I'm not so sure about "God" but I need emotional help nonetheless and "beggers can't be choosers" or so the saying goes.

It hasn't been easy for me, but with the passing of years and as my life became more stable, I found ways of coping that worked and didn't cause myself or anybody else harm.

I hope you are able to live a good, healthy life, in spite of your tragic past, and find ways of coping with those horrible memories. I think sometimes that, I can't change the past, but I can't erase it either. Ask for help and find supportive, compassionate people to spend time with.

Good luck!

Peace, A.