Perhaps one answer to that question might be that we all come to the relationship with a lot of hidden agendas that were formed long before we ever met the person with whom we are trying to have a relationship.

Our family of origin, our environment during youth, our standards and values, exist before we meet our future mates. This is a lot for two people to handle. The romance advocates make it sound simple, but it's not simple.

Some people are wise and take the differences with humor and easily forgive the transgressions of their partners. Others use the transgressions of their partners as a way to feel hurt or to badger the other person.

It's really a matter of how we have been taught to handle what happens to us. As one wise person said, life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you deal with it.

Choices, it's all about choices.