My kids are 6 and 7, so I think maybe too young for a key - plus my youngest is always losing things.

They added complication is that my eldest son asked me to go with them to ex mother-in-laws after Xmas for a few days as he gets homesick without me there. I agreed thinking I could grin and bear it for a few days - it wasn't the kids fault we split and it is their Xmas too. So I know my ex is either going to get really defensive when I say something, or laugh in my face that I am being so stupid and then it is going to be more of a struggle to grin and bear it with him and his family.

I can hear myself coming up with lots and ifs and buts to not raising it with him and I know I am scared that he will "crush" me with his response at a time when I can't access my T.

He is very deceitful and I never quite know what he is up to - so it was no surprise to me that it was my kids who told me in a very innocent way and I did not make out to them that it was a big deal as I did not want to worry them or run their dad down in front of them. I so wish me and him weren't forever "joined together" by the fact that we share our fantastic kids. He has a habit of really squashing me into the ground, sometimes even with just a look.

Thanks for your reassurance though and I will have a think about my security and how I can safeguard it more in the future.

Soup