Change is hard, and having unknowns can make it unbearable, I can relate.
I think for us BP's having control makes us feel safe, and you have a situation you have little control over.
You mentioned you have learned how to stabilize, why is it not working now? Are you working hard on the things that you know traditionally have made you feel better? I know when I get stressed some of my coping strategies go out the window, when it is specifically then that I need them the most.
Best of luck with things.