Im sorry you are having such a hard time. It can be so hard to hold on to any hope when nothing seems to be working. Are you on meds? If so, who prescribes them? Do you have a therapist? Have you talked to the professionals who are treating you and made it very clear that something has to change? It is hard because the times we need to be our strongest with professionals is when we feel our weakest! It does get better...especially once you find the right treatment for you. I know you feel so tired and just wanna give up....I have been there MANY times...just hold on and try a new treatment plan you and doctor come up with.