Hi Notdamooma, i am really touched by your story, i hope you well. I am new around, I don't know if words can really help. i don't have experience with medications, i hate them xd
i do have, quite often, sleepless nights, sometimes even wake up in the middle of the night terrorized for no reason. i just get this sick feeling in my gut, and feel like bursting in tears for no reason.sometimes i do.
when i can't sleep, my mind is just going on and on about worries and problems and i just can't seem to stop.
personnaly,i believe that any matter of mind will only be solved by trying to understand it.i look for the one thing that i believe would truly help. in my case, most of the time it's trying to get in touch with a very close person, i just talk and share my darkest thoughts (because i trust them). i just talk and i don't expect an answer. i don't believe any answer will really help,sometimes thhey do more harm because the other person is not in my situation. but just the fact that someone is there, and cares enough to listen eases the pain somewhat.
the best second solution for sleepless nights in my case is writing. i just right down what i am thinking, it does help me a little bit.
i am not sure this really helps, i wish you well. and don't hesitate posting or mp if you need always happy to listen.