We have trouble with abandonment and trust too. BIG trouble with trust, and also find that as a result stability is a not a constant in our lives. However, we are working on it (gee isn't there always something to work on ) we try and have a strong system with clear rules(or guidelines for those who find rules restricting ) which define who's responsibility something is, and its all strength based, which means we work out what people are good at and that becomes there contribution towards our stability.

For us, knowing that we have the skills between us,allows us to trust each other (usually) and it is this little bit of trust that we have in our lives and each other that gives us a tinsy bit of stability....tinsy but growing as we grow and develop as individuals. Don't know if that makes sense?
Thinkin of ya