I indentify with so much of what you write. I've not got the answers, I wish I did, but like you I'm just trying to hang on in there in the hopes it will get better. I think we just have to believe that something good is waiting for us down the line - and that we'll get there at some point. Until then, we just cope the best we can... Sorry I can't be more helpful, but I just wanted to say I hear you. I'm trying to find my way out of this hole with the aid of medication and therapy, and I'm not exactly rich (back living with parent, no money, etc) but from what you say about your situation I'm not sure if this is an option for you? I would look into ways it might be possible. As for your living arrangements - you say your family loves you, is there a family member you could move in with who could maybe help to support you at this difficult time?

Best wishes
& don't give up