I can't remember feeling so lonely, so alone. I am a listener, not a talker, so I don't reach out to others and open up. I have isolated myself from just about everyone I know, altho if I was living in my home town there are a couple of friends I would be in contact with. But there is no way I would ever move back there! Waaaaaaaaay too big, esp compared to where I live now- a city but a 'farming' city with so few ppl you easily run into someone you either know, or knows someone you know, or is related to someone you know. I am so tired and should be getting ready to head off to bed but can't face the mess I need to tidy up first. Procrastination is a great 'invention' but there are times when it really doesn't help matters... I also kinda don't want tomorrow to come. To much to deal with and face, and the same for Thursday but worse. Just dragging myself outa bed at the mo is such an effort, and if it wasn't for kids I'd probably be there 24/7. I'm going to have to face the hard truth sooner or later, outside of PC and into the 'real world' that things have slipped so far, but the negative possible outcomes outweigh the positive. In some ways I hope I don't have to really face that until Monday, but I'm pretty sure a lot of it will be faced on thursday, in a very negative setting to begin with. I keep looking for that silver lining, but there's none in sight yet. So, another night of lonliness, anxiety and worry (and sorting out and cleaning the house...kids!!!). Hope I haven't bored you too much. Just needed to clear my head a little...