I had my two older sons when I was undiagnosed.

My oldest I had when I was 22 during the years when I having a possible psychotic episode (possible because I can only recount the event now to the doctor...) Anyway, I didn't find pregnancy very difficult at all. I had an easy time, I think. Except near the end around 7 months, I had two evenings of coughing up blood, one night the ambulance was called, even. After that every night I was having sever panic attacks. My ex responded with, "You're so f*** dramatic all the time." (one of a million reasons why he is the ex.)

Then after my son was born I had horrible post pardum depression. I even shaved my head and that was way before Brittany Spears made it cool.

My soon to be middle son was during a difficult time. My ex had taken custody of my oldest son and I didn't get to see him for a whole year (my oldest son was only three at that time). But on the other hand I had my current husband and his mom and brother for support. I didn't have any complications until the labor.

Because I was already in emotional distress I had post pardum depression again. But this time in the hospital a psychiatrist visited me and put me on Abilify. She also sent me to counseling, but there were no psychologists available for eight weeks after birth. So a social worker put me into some anger management class for people who were court ordered to go to anger management.... Yeah.... I also had a sever reaction to the Abilify and had to go off it.

Now this time, I'm eight months pregnant right now! I'm diagnosed but not medicated. My OB knows I have bipolar but didn't want to start any meds because I wasn't on them. I'm more under "observation." This has not been an easy pregnancy due to some major upheavals and changes in my home life. Also the pregnancy is much physically harder this time. I am now 32, so 10 years older than with my oldest.

As for being a good mom, I think I am a good mom! I get irritated, sure. I get argrivated, okay. I can be a bit distance at times. I'm not the best cleaner or cook. But I take good care of my kids. I love them with all my heart. My boys always tell me I'm the best mommy in the whole world. And I really hold on to that because I know someday they will be teens and not ever tell me that.