It is very hard from outsider's point of view to be Muslim and gay. In my christian tradition there is now more openness if your gay. I hope one day you can make that decision to be YOU and not care what society or more to the point your family think, as I know france has liberal laws in relation to homosexuality. It's like having an arm and your told your not allowed to show it, the same with sexuality, it is a part of you. You can't denouce it as it is part of YOU. Maybe suggest seeing a counsellor who can help you be you by annoucing your gay to the world including your family!