Thanks, Kaliope.
It's morning now, and neither my h nor I could sleep last night. We have planned some time today to talk about how our dog changed us as a family. She was a castoff who ended up at our house. She adopted us instead of the other way around. She loved us all, and could bring out the best in everyone. And she was so smart!

Fortunately my son's t will be able to see him tomorrow. I sent her an email last night and she answered right away. Unfortunately, though, our family is not so strong because of the mental disorders we have, and we will have a tough time weathering this. I already have failed in that I drank every bit of alcohol that was in our house last night. My h went into yelling mode, angry at me for whatever reason (probably the drinking although he won't say that). My son cried himself to sleep on the couch next to me. Fortunately, the other three kids managed to make it to bed in a normal fashion, but the second son who was here when it happened came downstairs crying just now.
I will take my children to church in a couple of hours while my husband buries the dog. Hopefully they will find some comfort there. I won't find comfort, I just pretend to be faithful so that I don't mess up my children's chances to find peace in believing in a higher power.
I try very hard to give my children the childhood memories I used to fantasize about as a child.