Quote:
Originally Posted by sjkero
my t always tells me i can call her if i need to, but i don't think i ever will even though i crave it sometimes and think about it a lot. and that makes me so mad at myself. here's why:
- i tell myself i need a really good reason to call (life or death, i'm crying, etc.), even though she assures me otherwise. i feel like there's a fine line, and truthfully i know that the majority of things i'd call her about are really not important or serious (even though i wish they were so i wouldn't feel so hesitant).
- my urges to call don't always happen during the daytime. and it's not like i am going to call her at 11pm.
- i don't know how she typically handles phone calls, i.e. gives words of wisdom for 2 mins, or talks for 20 mins- and i'd feel like every minute i keep her on the phone is a minute too long.
- i wouldn't have the slightest CLUE as to how to start the conversation. as soon as she would say "hello?" i'd freeze... what would i say?? i feel like i'd have to choose my first few words wisely so she wouldn't think i need to have an hour-long conversation, and i'd need to convince her somehow that whatever i needed to talk to her about couldn't wait until the next session.
- truth is, sometimes i feel like i just want to connect, and so i'd start inventing reasons to call her and it would just snowball.
eeek.
|
It's perfectly fine to call and say you just wanted to connect with her.
She offered, so she is comfortable with the limits and boundaries she has set for phone calls.
I told my therapist that I was afraid of calling 'too much' or for a not 'good enough' reason. She said any reason is fine and if she felt I was calling "too much", we would talk about it. All of that she said with such kindness.
I'm glad I can leave that to her. I can leave a message on her office phone at any time. At times, I have just listened to her recorded message and that's helped. She also gives her cell phone number for a call that is urgent, although she makes no promises to be available by cell and advises to call 9-1-1 if it is an emergency.
I think it would be really helpful for you and her to talk about all the things you posted here about phone calls. It would feel good to know if she has a recording after hours, or the latest you can call if she doesn't, and good for her to know how you feel about calling.