i completely understand what you're saying 100%. i feel the same exact way.
i'm really glad i found PC because it's helping, but sometimes i just feel like nothing will ever help.
the other day i was talking to my health teacher about her son having depression. and this is how he copes with it (i've tried this as well):
make a box, any plain wooden box, not too big. decorate it with fun colors, anything you love, you could even put food on there if you wanted!
the title of it should be 'worry box'. written small, but noticable.
keep it near you as much as you can, and whenever you're stressing out or having a really rough time, write it down. write it down, give complete details, strain the pen so you get all your emotions out, and throw it in the worry box.
you can't worry about it anymore, because now it's the worry box's problem.

i have yet to put more worry notes in. but so far, i think it's helping.
people care for you, no matter how much it seems like they don't.
even if you're calling out for help, and you feel like no one will help, pc people are here for you. we all understand where you're coming from, and we support you.

send me a pm if you need to!