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Why is always the question but there never seems to be an answer. I can not be satisfied with the answer "well they were given a hard childhood" because SO WAS I!!! I was abused on every level more than I can count, I was literally broken into pieces and I would never do that kind of harm to any human being. I know right from wrong and so did they! So how could they knowing what they were doing?
I can't accept it like others do... "Well their parents did it to them" or "they were neglected and abused" SO WERE WE!!!! We don't abuse so why do they?
I just can't fathom it! I just can't wrap my head around why and even more so how to get over what they did... I always think it doesn't effect me, always think I'm ok and that it's the past, the past can't hurt me. It's over, they can not take anything more from me. I am moving forward. I am doing well. I am a wonderful person. But no matter how much I try to be well, their actions caused me to be anything of the sort. I am STILL a victim to their abuse years after it was over...
How do you break the chain? I try and try and try and try... I try to believe they are just memories, nothing more. Memories can't hurt you... But they do... The hurt...
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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